We+hear+...singing

I hear my school singing, the varied songs I hear, The teachers singing as they teach with computers and whiteboards, The administrators singing as they control the students with referrals, The band students singing while they play instruments from sheet music, The dancers singing as they dance with fancy shoes and costumes, The football players singing while they run with the football, in their cleats, The ROTC cadets singing as they march with rifles in their uniforms, The art students singing while they draw in sketchbooks with pastels, The FFA kids singing as they work with tractors and cows, These are the songs of the school I hear everyday. //Brittany Bowling and Jessica Petrat//

These are good images. Your lines could be varied, but overall good jo b.

 I hear the world singing, The birds chirping in the trees, flying on a mission Each car moving to a destination with periodical stops The trees dancing to the wind, and Most of all, the people who make this world a special place //Kristina Bacheva// Good. Does Whitman use animals or just people? Look through his poems.

I hear Braden River High school singing, the varied cliques I hear, Those of Cheerleaders shaking their pom poms for the sports, The Bookworms studying their books, and doing well on tests, The Jocks working out, goofing off, and playing in the football game, The punks listening to their ipods, wearing black clothes, and strapping up their converse, and The teachers teaching and giving homework and tests. Good Job -- ns

CHAD RIESE & SAM IERARDI

 I Hear my Raiders Running I hear the pounding of the boots on the sun baked earth, The faces of my Raiders burn with pain, as they run down the trail pushing each other and themselves, they carry their packs with pride and test their body to the edge. The Raiders hear the sound of the starting whistle, they pick up their litter and take off with all their might, they strive to keep their litter off the ground, and to keep a steady pace, the pain is evident in their faces as they cross the finish line. I hear the beating of their hearts as they fly across the bridge, They rapidly pull themselves across the bridge to get to the other side, I see the sweat drip down from their face, As they get the rope untied and their hands on their head. These are the sounds and the feelings of the Raiders, Their hearts beat with valor, strength, and integrity, They are the most motivated and the most dedicated, <span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif';">They are my Raiders. Tyler Connell

<span style="color: rgb(255,9,0);">Excellent -- I'm impressed! -- ns

**<span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I hear my church singing, the varied hems I hear; <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My sister is singing-- while she’s helping in her room with her music. <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Martha is singing, while she is leading in her religion and with her charity work. <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Mary is singing, as she is listening to her friends and to her religion. <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">Nyssa is singing, while she is caring, following her church and her camera.
 * <span style="font-size: 13pt; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I hear my church singing.

<span style="color: rgb(255,9,0);">Good Job <span style="color: rgb(255,6,0);">You want the word "hymn." -- ns

I hear my day singing I hear my family sing as they get ready to start their new day My master sings as he teaches and helps me with class I hear master’s students sing as they practice with intensity I hear master’s students sing with agreement that they finished a great class. I hear my family getting ready for bed. I hear myself thinking of today, and what I’ve had experienced.
 * MICHAEL WARREN**

<span style="color: rgb(231,8,8);">Good Mike -- Your second line seems out of place. You might want to take it out. <span style="font-size: 13pt; line-height: 115%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> I Hear My Friends Singing, the varied carols I hear, Chad, fighting with his bracelet and getting that cash flow, Nick, skim boarding and fishing with his fishing pole, Sam, sleeping all day and chilling with his bling and friends, Mrs. Sisemore, teaching her children and bragging about the University of Florida, Walt Whitman, writing poetry and reading books, And Jason, surfing and being with Dani at Young Life. <span style="color: rgb(255,9,0);">Good Job -- who are you?-- ns I Can Hear Teachers Teaching I hear teachers teaching, the varied teaching I hear, Mrs. Sisemore, speaking of literature and books Mrs. Barry planting flowers and selling meat sticks Ms. Dimon laughing as she plays with her dog and helps with the steer Mr. Mountford yelling as he teaches math and coaches football Ms. McNally teaching with the smart board excited for math, and the Gators By Krista And Adamli <span style="color: rgb(250,46,46);">//<span style="color: rgb(255,9,0);">Good Job -- <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0);">You forgot to capitalize Gators! No comma after Mrs. Sisemore. You would need a semi colon after teaching in the first line. -- ns//
 * (Thank you Mrs. Sisemore)**
 * I Hear My Friends Singing**

I hear America Crying Josh VanDyke and Chris Segui I hear the President crying in the White house over this great countrys money loss. The Military Singing marching with weapons at right-shoulder and uniforms pressed. Congress is arguing wearing expensive suits and fighting over Iraq. The People worrying about gas prices and the upcoming election. <span style="color: rgb(228,34,33);">//Good -- White House should be two words and both are capitalized-- country should be possessive instead of plural.//

<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">I hear my mom singing while making amazing food during one of our house parties. <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">I hear my dad singing while working diligently to support our family. <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">I hear my sister singing alone with her team when the score on the other team. <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">I hear my cousin animal singing alone with the radio on his way to a business meeting. <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif';">I hear my uncle Russ singing while pulling an oil hose to someone's house. by kimmy decker <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">You have some good ideas, but this needs some editing. Use end punctuation. I don't understand the third and fourth lines. You need to make "someone" possessive. Who are you? //

I hear my best friends singing, the varied carols I hear Tiffany, laughing with me and everyone else Christie, talking her life away and telling about her memories from camp Jackie, smiling at everything and everyone, cheering and showing her spirit for Braden River High School Taylor, driving his car and hanging out with his friends Nick, skateboarding and making everyone around him laugh -Natalia Nunes <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">Good job. //

<span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I hear my family singing, the varied carols I hear. <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My Mother reading books in her room, <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My Father working on the computer in his office, <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">M brother Jason traveling with his wife, outdoors, <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My brother Joseph studying for medical school at USF, <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My brother Jonathan, working out at the gym with weights <span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">, <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">My dog Molly, barking at our cats and neighbors. <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">I especially like the way you put "outdoors" at the end of the line to vary your construction // <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">
 * <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%; font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';">I Hear My Family Singing **
 * BY Julia White**
 * I hear my co-workers working**

I hear my co-workers working, the varied working I hear. My boss, Janet, talking on the phone in the back room, Lauren at the register ringing a customer up, Mary putting up new ornaments on the wall, Eleanor walking around the store, Holly organizing a box full of cards. -Kimberly Legaspi <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">Good -- sounds like you work at a Hallmark store. Your Lauren line should be "ringing up a customer." // <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif';"> I hear my family singing, the sounds of strength and pride The cacophony of everyone’s own individual tasks My mom hard at work, constantly giving her all in order to support her family My dad all the way in Brazil, somehow making a difference in my life, in ways I don’t comprehend, but nevertheless changing my life, in his calm, relaxing demeanor My brother, Thiago, sharing his insistent whining and complaining about everything possible and then running off to the hammock, to lay down My sister, Elizabeth, humming and singing the tunes of her favorite Disney movies and clinging to her little purse and running to her older brothers with love My sister, Gabrielle, playing around, running and laughing My cousin Rafael, just “chilling” as us teenagers have coined the term, relaxing, carefree My step dad, Cary, also focused on his work, and maneuvering his tools, all the while thinking of his daughters & my step mom, Rosanna, with her cleaning obsession, making sure the house is spotless This is my family, these are my friends I hear them
 * I hear my family singing-** **Fil Norskov**

<span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">Very good job, Fil. Use some end punctuation. Everyone, own and individual are somewhat redundant. I love the line about your dad. Don't begin the line with &. This is my family; these are my friends. //

I hear my community singing, songs of politics. I hear the barber gossiping, false facts of the running's this year. I hear the kids luaghing, clueless of the situation at hand. I hear the teachers and staff asking, whose going to be in demand. I hear the students crowding at the door, wanding which canidate will take the floor.** <span style="color: rgb(0,0,0); font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif;">//<span style="color: rgb(255,77,77);">You have some good ideas, but this needs some editing. You have some typos. I'm not sure what the teachers and staff line means. //
 * Ryan Zimmerman